It isn't self-control, it's self-defense

That's what I told another guest at Thanksgiving dinner when she said she admired me for almost completely eliminating gluten and dairy products from my diet and radically reducing my sugar consumption.  It's really basic self-protection--if I eat gluten, I spend way too much time in the ladies' room, dairy makes me sick to my stomach, and too much sugar gives me leg cramps that don't go away until they jolly well want to (some lasting as long as seven or eight minutes).  My life is just so much more pleasant when I don't eat, or cut way back on, foods that can hurt me.

In other news, I'm developing a reputation for making a long story shorter, literally.